"RUN THOR RUN!" Making it to safety on the other side of the vault door the Hulk and Betty took either side of the detached door and slammed it back in, crumpling the edges like tin foil until they meshed with the doorframe. Even with the door shut the trio could make out the blue furry limbs of their friends trying to reach out like vicious starving animals, and right now the only meat they were after was the Blonde Nordic Fabio hiding behind Betty’s shoulder. Despite the blue flu immediately infecting and transforming the Avengers, Thor like all Asgardian beings were immune to illness. THAT however only made him a more obvious target when everyone started licking their lips at him like a Wendy’s baconator with extra bacon.

"Come ON Thor, let me at those biceps." Cried out Wasp, now a four armed blue bumblebee woman drooling at the chance to have Odinson all to herself. "Bitch! He’s mine, he doesn’t want a buzzy little shrimp like you. He wants a REAL woman." Growling at her friend like the blue lioness she was Miss Marvel clawed at the uneven gaps of the door.

"Thor! We’ve talked it over and Cap and I are insecure enough to try out a threesome!" Reaching as best as he could the humanoid weasel Tony Stark and Captain America the big blue wolf man tried desperately to reach out with their arms, meters away from their prize yet still trying to claw their way closer. Stepping away from the vault and escaping the possible date-rape he could have suffered Thor looked to the two massive blue bear people and sighed in relief. "Thank you friend Hulk, you have rescued me from what would be a tale the bards of Asgard would not let down for many centuries."

"Meh, could have been worse…"

"Yet how? How has it that this… ‘Kitten Pox’ has restored your intellect and dignity?"

Standing straight and putting on glasses from his pocket the Blue furry Hulk pondered that very question. Deep within his psyche three terrible monsters fought viciously in front of the portal leading to control of his body. One was the Incredible Hulk, the other was the Grey Hulk and the latest addition was a Blue ‘beast’ Hulk, each vying for the chance to escape and take control.

"HULK NO LOSE TO PUNY FIXIT, HULK STRONGEST THERE IS!!!" Grabbing Mr. Fixit in a headlock the grey skinned Hulk punched at the Green Hulk’s stomach, trying to get free.

"Screw YOU dumbass, I’m getting out of here first and maybe I’ll be the one banging Betty this time!" Breaking free Mr. Fixit was about to escape when jaws clamped around his ankle and pulled him back. Behind him the giant blue animal pulled the Grey Hulk away from the portal, locked in a fierce grapple that included the Green Hulk once he got back up.

"I’m the one getting out, I can smell Betty’s arousal even from here! When I’m done she’ll be bearing MY cubs, not YOURS!"

"Says you ass-hat!"

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"HULK SMASH!"

"Move it chowder-head."

"Nuck Nuck Nuck."

"Whoo whoo whoo Whoo whoo…"

Watching the three stuck in an unmovable hold the mental projection of Bruce Banner ran towards the portal and jumped through. "See you later A-holes…"

Back in reality the Blue Hulk rubbed his chin in thought and shrugged his shoulders. "Hmm, to be honest Thor I have no idea, maybe its dumb luck." Looking up to the sky where the Doom-bots continued to cover the city in an impenetrable energy field the Blue Hulk looked over to the Four Freedom plaza, an idea coming to mind. "JARVIS, please keep the Avengers… Uhm, kenneled, we’ll be back soon."

"As you wish Doctor Banner." Responded the AI’s voice over the hallways. "Shall I keep the sprinklers on also?"

"Sure, the lawns need the water anyway." Running out to the front lawn the trio spotted Tigra, Widow and Hawkeye fleeing from the spraying water like cats stuck at a water park, their tails bushy and ears pulled back in fright from the spraying water.

"Where to Bruce?" Wondered Betty, the blue polar bear woman stopping briefly once they were out of the mansion grounds to stare at the throng of big blue furry people screwing each other in the background and Banner’s ass through his trousers. Flaring her nostrils all the while like an animal in heat. "Right now there’s only one place I can think of that has the resources to come to blows with Doctor Doom."

"Does it have food?"

"It houses a 4 ton rock creature with a Brooklyn accent."

"Then… yes?"

"Yes."

Using their strength to leap over the rooftops the two blue hulks made their way towards the Fantastic Four’s home, with Thor throwing his hammer forward to follow them.

*

On the other side of town the door to a sleazy apartment opened up and a red and black boot stepped out into the blue furry streets of NYC. Deadpool was hungry, and like everyone else who woke up in the middle of the day not knowing the time or how long he was asleep or even how much money he had Wade Wilson decided it was time for a chimichanga extravaganza. "Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiff, ah smell that air… Smells like piss and shame, guess the Giants lost last night." With his hands in his pocket and whistling his theme song from the video game Deadpool walked down the street completely ignoring the insanity happening right in front of him. Not even batting an eyelash at the quartet of blue vixens having a lesbian orgy across the street or the pair of blue racoon men scrounging through dumpsters, not even the rat lady dry humping the fender of a car.

Nary a fuck was given by the merc-with-a-mouth when he finally reached Samantha’s Taco van, the woman barely recognizable as a curvaceous blue cat woman eating her entire stock like a ravenous animal.

"Two chimichangas my good eye candy." Waving a couple dollars between his fingers a blue clawed hand from the cart snatched them up and ate them. "Yeesh, keep the change why don’tcha." Leaning back against the side of the taco cart Wade plucked a magazine out of his pocket and started thumbing through the pages, the cover reading "Victor Von Doom tyrades UN… No one cares." Skipping past a few pages over to the self-help pages Deadpool snickered. "How to please your man in ten ways, Pff please… There’s like 70 ways, make the man a sandwich, and 69." After a few minutes miraculously a pair of tacos on a styrofoam plate were handed to Deadpool by Samantha before she went right back to drinking the mustard bottles and eating raw beef.

"Hey Sam, you’re out of ketchup again… Wait… No ketchup?... DOOM SEALED OFF THE CITY AND TURNED EVERYONE INTO DUMB HORNY BLUE ANIMAL PEOPLE?!"

Falling to his knees Deadpool dropped his tacos and raised his fists up in the air.

"THAT WASN"T PART OF THE FUCKING DEAL DOOM! THAAAAAAAAT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASN’T PAAAAAAAAAAAAART!!!"