Arkham Hospital
Poison Ivy felt like a pastry. She was wrapped in casts all over her body and then she was sealed in a plastic bubble inside the Arkham “Bat-attacked” medical ward. All of her medical care was done throw those creepy rubber arms attached to the sides of her bubble. She watched as much as her neck brace allowed as the orderlies brought a pasty faced bimbo on a hospital gurney. Once they parked her in the bay next to hers Ivy looked over at the new face. She was a twisted sexual fantasy of the Joker.
“Bats did that to you?” Ivy asked.
The clown shook her head in a very ginger no.
“Harley Quinn?” Ivy asked.
The clown again shook her head in a very ginger no.
“The Joker got a hold of you?” Ivy asked.
The clown woman tried to frown. She seemed to want to be free of the breathing tube she was hooked up too.
“Let’s go Doctor Almonds,” one of the orderlies muttered as Harley Quinn was brought in, “You know the drill, and just because you are making these claims doesn’t mean that you aren’t going in a rubber room as soon as a doc clears it. Now sit.”
Harley was put on a gurney of her own across from Poison Ivy and the clown woman and was shackled to seven ways to Sunday in place.
“Hi Red! What happened to you?” Harley squeaked as the orderlies and guards went to get the doctor on duty, “You look like you got run over by a tank.”
“It feels like it,” Ivy muttered, “I got mugged by fire twated cunt Batfeak and ended up pinned between a sedan and a tractor trailer carrying plant food of all things.”
“Batgirl or Batdyke?” Harley was confused for a second.
“The dyke,” Ivy spat, “What’s going on with you? You aren’t nearly thrashed enough to be here after a lovers spat or a bat attack.”
“The bats took it easy on me,” Harley licked some of the blood that was still dripping from her nose, “I can’t find Mistah J either.”
“Bats take it easy on you?”
“You remember I told you about the honeymoon we were gunna take when we broke out, Mistah J and I?” Harley said.
“Yeah that was what a month and a half ago or so,” Pamela said.
“Well I’m pregnant!” Harley said in a quite voice.
“GHHHHHH!” the clown woman in the breathing tube freaked out.
“Who’s the pinup doll?” Harley asked her friend.
“She just got here, seems she was special delivery. Isn’t she one of your team’s groupies?” Ivy asked.
“Never seen her before.”
The woman started cursing into the breathing tube. Poison Ivy arched an eyebrow at the woman while Harley stared in utter disbelief.
“Is that really you puddin? What the hell happened? Yeah, I’ve been taking tests all week… we are ganna have a kid,” Harley said back to the upset clown.
“The hell?” Ivey half asked.
“You hear as many people try to talk while gagged and heavily beaten as the Joker keeps around you understand what they are trying to say after a while. She said…” Harley was struck pale in disbelief, “She said she is Mistah J. Some ass made him a chick and he… she wanted to know if I was really pregnant. Puddin, are we gunna do?”
Poison Ivy started to cackle, she her grin extended from ear to ear and she was crying from the laughter and pain of rattling her broken bones. The Joker was now a bimbo? The kind he tormented and terrorized? That was just too funny!
“Ah Red,” Harley was very scared, “Puddin says that when she gets out she is going to put you and every pine tree in the state throw the number three fun house. You may want to consider getting extradited to another country.”