"I suppose I should use this tremendous power for far more noble causes . . . but why not enjoy myself a bit first? Now, what does that snarky little bitch in the hold always call me?"
***
Jack had settled into her bunk for a nap when she suddenly felt a huge weight on her chest. No, wait - the huge weight WAS her chest!
"What the fuck?" she bellowed as she stared down at a pair of truly gigantic tits jutting out from her petite frame. She sat up, the weight of her huge boobs throwing her sideways as the jiggled and swayed like made with no support. She grabbed them, one in each hand, standing up with difficulty. They were seriously the biggest tits she'd ever seen, like she was some sort of porn vid star or Asari stripper who'd had work done.
"Gotta go see Mordin, he'll, like, totally figure this out!" she said with a giggle. "Um, like, why I am giggling? Like, what the fuck is going on and stuff? And like, what the shit am I wearing?"
Her voice had suddenly turned high-pitched, breathy and squeaky but that wasn't the worst of it.
Looking down, Jack saw her usually leather straps and cargo pants had been replaced with a black and white checkered pleated skirt that barely covered her ass, a pair of tacky white and black Go-Go boots with six inch heels. Her tattoos had changed as well - now the ink on her skin was mostly text, loudly declaring in bright, primary colors that she was a total slut, loved to fuck anyone from Cerebus and how awesome Cerebus was. There were some also very pornographic drawings across her arms and neck making it clear exactly what she loved doing to anybody in Cerebus. The worst was the giant Cerebus logos tattooed over her aureoles and nipples. She blew her blonde hair out of her face in exasperation.
"This is, like, totally bullshit! Wait, what? Like, I have blonde hair?"
Glancing in a nearby reflective surface, Jack saw she now had blonde, handlebar pigtails that matched a cascade of blonde curls that trailed down her bare back to just above her ass. Worst of all? A collar around her neck with a white metal heart hanging above her cleavage that had the words "CEREBUS CHEERLEADER!" etched into it in big black letters.
"Miranda!" she tried to growl but it came out as a pouty whine instead. "I'm, like, totally gonna kill that bitch or some junk!"