“Report on the Joker first,” Batman growled.
“Phooey,” Harley snorted, “Ok, He is skipping town.”
“Where is he going?” Batman demanded.
“I don’t know,” Harley grabbed a stuffed hyena, “But he got on an AIM sub a half hour ago.”
Batman put his hands on his hips and glared at Harley.
“Yeah, I should have just called instead of letting him go,” Harley groaned and looked away, “No sexy time spanking for Harley tonight… Damnit, I just want him out of the freaking picture so we can be together Bruce. Fuck, Ok.”
Harley got her helmet.
“Do I still go out to night,” Harley asked with a sad pain in her voice, “Or do I stay home for the rest of the night?”
Bruce looked at her. His eyes picked up the details of her costume. The thin pink piping isolating sections of the armor plating. The outlined white bat across her chest and built into the face of the mask, the red lenses of the mask… the pouting lip.
“Stay here tonight,” Bruce answered, “I expect you to come for brunch tomorrow at the Manor. Bring something to wear that will give the paparazzi something to talk about in the evening.”
“Yes sir Mr. B!” a smile came across Harley’s face.
*
Selina woke to the feeling of a face in her lap. Looking down it was Dixie, formerly Dick Grayson sleeping with her face in Selina’s lap. Selina looked at her clock, 6:45 in the morning, effectively the middle of the night for her and other costumed criminals. Selina felt the need to pee and carefully got up. She tried to avoid waking Dixie, but the black haired junior ignored her movement and rolled over. As Selina went to the bathroom she noticed a framed newspaper clipping it was of The Flying Grayson’s Murder. In it was a young Dixie with pig tails. That was weird. It seemed what ever happened last night was rewriting history.
“Meow” Isis called from Selina’s ankle.
“Hello baby,” Selina picked up the gray cat, “Let mommy go to the litter box and then I will get breakfast for you.”
*
Bruce woke to an entirely different sensation… A mouth was sucking on his manhood… Looking down he saw Harleen Quinzel still in a red blouse and black skirt on top of his pulled back covers going to town on his little friend. Looking to his side was the Jacket of a doctor at Arkham on the chair next to the door.
*
Bruce was shower and on his way down to the breakfast room. He had known that Harley was a sexual person, but he had underestimated how much of a skilled lover she was. She had given him a blow job, sucked him off, swallowed everything and not even messed up her professional makeup.
“Hay Bruce?” Tim asked behind him, “Where is Dixie? She isn’t in her room and Babs doesn’t know where she is either?”
“Dixie?” Bruce asked trying to make sense of the question.
“Yeah Dixie,” Tim said, “Yea tall, Black hair, awesome ass, your first orphan, big sis to me and Cassie?”
“I’m not sure, something is going on and I can’t put my thumb on it just yet,” Bruce confessed.
“Hello Tim,” Harley said as she walked by to head down to the breakfast room.
Tim held his tongue until she was down the stairs.
“What the hell is she doing here? And why is she rocking an Arkham employee pass?” Tim hushed his shouts.
“I don’t know,” Bruce said, “Something weird is going on. Does the names White Knight or Fruit Bat mean anything to you?”
“Nope?” Tim half answered, half asked.
*
While Bruce was concerned he still had to make his rounds of Wayne Enterprises. Lucius agreed that Dick was Dixie Grayson a girl, but didn’t know what happened to her. Lucius and everyone else agreed that Harley Quinn was supposed to be a criminal so he was glad he managed to convince her to hang out in the batcave for the day. Tim, Cassie, and Alfred were surprised to see she had a log on for the Batcomputer.
“Right this way to see our data servers Mister Wayne.
As Bruce was touring the labs he noticed someone who didn’t belong. It didn’t take much to sneak off and get to the back lab. He didn’t have a suit here, but he still knew he could take the man even as the Fop Bruce Wayne.
“Please Excuse me a second,” Bruce broke off from the ground and seemed to go back to the bathroom. He snuck back into the data server room and got behind the intruder.
“Starr!” Bruce called.
The bulky, bald, man with the pointed head turned around. Bruce punched him in the face. What happened next was a repeat of what happened last night with Harley. Pulses of black energy rippled from the just broken nose of Elihas Starr aka Egghead. Bruce watched as the man stood there in a sort of stasis for over a minute. Then he broke free and acted as if he had just been punched.
“OW!” Starr shouted, “Sorry boss! I’m sorry, I know you don’t like me coming to the main headquarters, but I needed get you this data right away.”
Starr reached in to his lab jacket and pulled out an external hard drive.
“I got the data on what the anti-superman weapons Lex is working on in the PRC. He has some practical stuff that is almost ready to hit the streets,” Starr said, “Now we both know that will turn into a shit show if that happens. You can now hand this off to whoever… and they can close the lab, right?”
“Right,” Bruce said.
“Ok,” Starr said, “I’ll sneak out as best I can. I know you don’t want me connected with you if I am going to be informing on the World Domination labs… But… Boss, I could… ahh… Use some money to help me set up for the next gig… The evil labs don’t pay their people when you heroes come crashing in and shut the place down. You know?”
“I’ll see you get something for your trouble,” Bruce said.
Bruce glared at Egghead and he shrugged.
“Ok, ok, bye.”
Bruce watched him leave. He had knocked out Harley last night and she became his very horny wingmate. He just punched Egghead and all of a sudden instead of selling his work to evil cranks after selling government data to criminals, he was stealing data from evil cranks and selling it to Bruce Wayne…
“Wait a second,” Bruce thought.
He had ordered Dick to intercept Selina last night, and both Bruce and Selina had been bathed in the energy of that machine she was trying to steal breaking… Did Selina have Dick? Or rather did Selina have Dixie? Was Dixie now Selina’s side kick?
*
Selina sat in the café with her new kitten eating breakfast like they were old lovers. Lord knows Dixie know how to please Selina like a longtime lover, and somehow Selina know how to drive Night Paw wild too. She wondered, this had happened after kissing Nightwing… was that an effect of the machine breaking last night? Was this a onetime event? Would Bruce get a feline make over if she kissed him?