Joker whistled a merry tune as he skipped over to Harley's cell. Now of course, using such an untested and weird magical device on himself was crazy... meaning it was just up the Joker's alley. But while mad, he wasn't stupid. He wanted to test it a bit
first, and it would be funnier that way anyway. He slid the zipper up the door into Harley's cell, and casually unzipped it.
"Rise and shine Harl!" he brayed.
"Front and center mister J!" Harley snapped into a mock salute. The blonde was dressed in a drab asylum uniform as was everyone else, her hair in twin ponytails. "Wow, that's a really handy gimmick, where'dya find it?"
"That's the funny part, Harl. I don't know!" Joker mirthfully chuckled.
"Watcha gonna do with it then, other than blow this popsicle stand?"
"Well, what else? Destroy the Batman of course! But that will require some preparations. I've come to realize something here. A moment of epiphany if you will. Walk with me, Harley" Joker turned and headed into the corridor, filled with other Gotham villains
cowering in their cells.
"Oh yeah?" Harley obediently followed.
"The problem is, Batsy is way too prepared for us. We have the same song and dance act every time. Now, of course my own is unpredictably brilliant, but the same can't be same for all these other poor sods" Joker walked up to the Scarecrow's cell and slipped
the zipper on the door.
"I see. Maybe we need a new act?" Harley tried, not sure of what Joker was getting at.
"Precisely! A surprise show! The best jokes are always the ones that you don't expect! And with this little doodah, we can give Batsy the surprise of a lifetime. Of course, it will require me to do some work on the other wretches. But that's ALL part of the
fun!" Joker burst into a long spate of hysterical laughter as he approached the cowering Scarecrow, backed up against the rear wall.
"S-stay away!" Scarecrow mumbled.
"Why is the master of fear such a scaredy cat anyway?" Joker sighed. "Oh well, nevermind. I need you to play a part, Johnny!"
Before Scarecrow could react, Joker slipped the zipper straight onto his face and pulled. He screamed as his body cleaved in two, and Harley's eyes widened when she saw what emerged from the emptied Scarecrow skin. Batman's friend Nightwing, tall, fit and eminently
handsome rose from the floor, dressed in his costume, staring unbelieving at his hands.
"W-what the h-hell did you do to me?" Nightwing gasped, staring at his new, strong hands and arms.
"We're planning the best surprise party Batman's ever had, Crane" Joker snickered. "and everyone needs to play their part. Your old forms are useless to me, but I can fix that. Besides, you should be happy. Judging by your buffed-up body and the bulge in your
tights, this was quite an upgrade! Now come along, we have work to do"
Harley couldn't help but ogle the new Nightwing as the trio exited.
"Now, who's next..." Joker mused.
Aided by Harley and Nightwing, Joker invaded each super-security cell in the Arkham wing in turn. Some inmates were harder to convince to give up their identities, some were easier, but with each convert it became less of a chore. Joker relished in the genius
idea of remaking Batman's greatest enemies into his friends. Oh the games they would play now.
Two-Face was unzipped into the Red Robin (Tim Drake) formerly Robin, then helped Joker unzip Mister Freeze into the tall, shapely redhead Batwoman. As the new Batwoman stared and touched her new body, Joker went on to change the Penguin into the current Robin
(secretly Batman's own son, Damian Wayne). With the new youth trailing behind, Joker invaded the Riddler's cell and promptly unzipped the protesting Edward Nygma into the curvaceous Huntress. With his small army of bat-family members he managed to enter Bane's
cell and unzip the thankfully restrained hulking mastermind into the lithe, asian Cassandra Cain (also known as Batgirl and Black Bat). Finally, against Harley's weak protests, Joker and his followers entered Poison Ivy's cell and Joker soon unzipped the plant
femme fatale into Red Hood, the dashingly handsome "bad boy" ex-Robin (Jason Todd).
Looking over the chaos he had wrought, Joker burst out laughing.
"Wonderful! The whole bat-family assembled! Like this we'll have no problem messing batsy's head up beyond repair! And if you do what I tell you I -might- even change you back at the end!" His eye noticed the new Huntress touching her large breasts and the
new Red Hood rubbing his crotch.
"So what'll we do, mistah J?" Harley mused "While they're out impersonating the batses?"
"Oh we will be too, Harl. Sorry, I love you, but you need a change of wardrobe!"
Before Harley could react, Joker had spun around and slapped the zipper all over her face and chest, and tugged. The Harley skin parted, draping down around the feet of the purple-clad Spoiler, aka Stephanie Brown. She looked dizzy and confused, staring down
at her body.
"Ohmigawd!" she yelped, seeing the unfamiliar costume.
"Tut tut Harley. Or should I say Spoiler? All part of the play. And let it not be said that I would only do unto others!" Joker laughed. "I too will play a part in t´his delightful play..." And with that, he laid the zipper across his own body and tugged at
the pull...
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