"All right, okay?!" Sonic snapped.  "I'll use you!" 

 

"Terms and Services Agreement accepted.  Fully registering Sonic the Hedgehog as this unit's user," the device said.  "Removing this unit's free will." 

 

Sonic rubbed his temples.  "I'm only gonna use you on my terms, though." 

 

"That is fine," the app said.  "Keep in mind, though, that if you do not have at least three lovers by the end of the month, I will revert to default mode." 

 

"All right, geez," Sonic muttered.  He pocketed the device for now, in the skin/fur colored leotard that most Mobians wore to get away with not wearing pants.  The ring-shaped Sky Patrol battleship came, Sonic dashing up the ramp as it opened.  Inside were Princess Sally Acorn, Antoine and Bunnie D'Coolette, Cream the Rabbit, Rotor the Walrus, Nicole the Holo-Lynx, Big the Cat, Tails, and Sonic's ever-persistant fangirl, Amy Rose.

 

"Hey hey," Sonic said as he emerged in the main deck.  "How is, mah friends?" 

 

Sally rolled her eyes, the buxom, short-haired squirrel/chipmunk chuckling.  "Mission successful, though?" 

 

"Sort of," Sonic said, taking out the device.  "It's a tracking device of some kind.  I accidentally activated it.  Works only for me now."  

 

Tails frowned.  "Show me?" 

 

Sonic nodded, holding up the device and whispering to it.  "Play along," he hissed. 

 

The device activated.  "Ultimate Tracker online," it said.  "Enter name of target."  

 

"Phage," Sonic said, thinking of the evil program of Eggman's.

 

"Tracking... tracking..." the device said, generating a hologram of Phage's location.  "Found.  Designate: Phage is currently planting several gigabytes worth of porn in G.U.N.'s servers."

 

Nicole's ears drooped, the holographic lynx frowning.  "Really?  She's trolling G.U.N.?" 

 

"Well, Eggman is notoriously petty," Rotor said.  

 

Sally looked thoughtful.  "It only works for you?" she asked.

 

Sonic nodded.  "Yeah." 

 

"Ask it to find my mother," Sally said.

 

Everyone froze.  Sally's mother had been dead since the start of Eggman's takeover.  "Sal..." Bunnie said, putting her cybernetic hand on Sally's shoulder.  

 

"Just... indulge me," Sally said softly.

 

Sonic nodded.  "...Find Sally's mother, Alicia Acorn." 

 

"Scanning..." the device said.  "Alicia Acorn not found on any corporal plane.  Analyzing non-corporal planes...  Found.  Alicia Acorn is currently within the non-corporal plane known generally as 'Heaven.'  Unable to generate hologram of location."  

 

"Whoa..." Rotor said.  "It can even track ghosts?" 

 

"Okay..." Sally said, smiling and sighing.  "Okay... Thank you."  

 

"You gonna be okay, Sal?" Sonic asked.

 

Sally nodded, smiling warmly.  "I'm fine, thank you."

 

"That thing is scary," Tails said.

 

Antoine nodded.  "Oui.  I am being very glad it is Sonic who is using this tracking machine instead of the Eggman," he said.  

 

Bunnie nodded in agreement.  "Yeah.  Sugarhog here ain't the type to abuse it," she said, Sonic chuckling nervously.

 

Sally nodded.  "We got this device away from Eggman before he could gain control of it," she said.  "That's a win in my book.  Everyone, well done." 

 

"Chilidogs all around?" Sonic suggested.

 

"Works for me," Tails said.  "I'm hungry."

 

Everyone went off to get lunch, Rotor setting the Sky Patrol to hover.  Sonic chose to eat alone, heading for the roof of the Sky Patrol.  He looked at the device, silently grateful that it played along... and more than a little frightened at its tracking capabilities.  He had it locate several other people he knew, before finally opening up the harem maker app itself.

 

He called up three pictures, one for Nicole, one for Sally, and one for Amy.  

 

One touch, and they would literally belong to him.  Nicole, according to the device, would be given a fully organic-compatable body to use, one to fulfill the mild crush she had on Sonic.  Amy, ever-faithful to Sonic despite his constant denials of her feelings, would be reward.  And Sally... he remembered dating Sally.  It had been a good time, but they had parted on friendly terms.  It would be nice to get back together again.  He wasn't ready to try and exploit Bunnie, but the other three were available...