Sonic hmmed, tapping a few buttons on the side of the phone.  "It'd help if I could find the 'power on' button."

 

"Powering on," said the device, the screen lighting up.  

 

Sonic blinked.  "Oh.  Voice command," he said.  "Cool.  Why didn't it work for Eggman?"  

 

"Negative," the device said. "By sheer chance, you have found the proper combination of button presses to activate me."  

 

Sonic frowned.  "SAPIENT machine.  Not sure how I feel about that," he said.

 

"Registering new user," said the device.  A light came out, faster than Sonic could react, scanning him head to toe.  "Confirmed.  New user - Sonic the Hedgehog.  Personality - Chaotic Good.  Sexuality - Hetero.  Transgender Tolerance - Accepting.  Tailoring harem generator options." 

 

"Excuse me?!  I can't believe I'm saying this, but slow down a second!" Sonic shouted.  "What do you mean, Harem Generator?"

 

"I am a Mind Control and Bodily Alteration Device, specializing in the creation and generation of harems for my designated user," the device said.  "Call me Harem App."   

 

Sonic blinked.  "Wait, what?"

 

The device was patient.  It explained things thoroughly.  "Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a female friend of yours?  Ever wish you could just fuck any girl you liked?  I have the ability to make that happen.  I can control the minds and bodies of every woman you meet.  Make them bustier, flatter, skinnier, fatter, whatever you desire to do to them, I'm capable of it.  Want to make a more dominant woman a submissive?  I will alter her mind to tailor your needs.  Want your girlfriend to make out with another girl?  Easily done.  Wonder what your male friends would be like as a woman?  I will alter them into a beautiful woman to add to your harem.  And no one will ever stop you, because I won't let them.  That is my power, to bring the women of the world under your command." 

 

"I..." Sonic stared, his mind reflexively going to several kinky fantasies he'd had in the past.  "No.  I'm not gonna turn my friends into moaning sexpets!"

 

"You don't have to," Harem App said.  "You can simply make it so that they retain their original personalities but are completely in love with you."  

 

Sonic growled.  "And what if I don't use you at all, hm?  What if I just put you on a shelf somewhere and forget you exist?"

 

"You are my registered user," Harem App said.  "My function is to give you a harem.  If you will not tell me what to do, I will simply take action on my own.  Make my own guesses on who to brainwash depending on what I observe of your interactions."

 

"What if I just destroy you?" Sonic said.  "Or have Nicole hack you?" 

 

"My systems are closed," Harem App said.  "Neither Nicole or the Eggman data being Phage are capable of breaking through my firewalls.  If they try, I will simply reprogram them into your sex toys.  (Incidentally, I am also capable of giving the two of them more interactive bodies for you to fuck.)  As for destroying me, I am programmed with hundreds of ways to defend myself, including intangibility, forcefields which can withstand even your Super Sonic form, and teleportation."

 

"This is insane... I don't want to become some sort of brainwashing villain pervert..." Sonic said, pacing back and forth.

 

"The choice is yours, User Designate: Sonic.  Either use me for your own enjoyment, or I will act on my own.  Point of order - I have a function that allows me to make it so that husbands don't mind their wives cheating on them with you.  I cannot use this function without a User telling me to do so," Harem App said.  "Same with my genderbender function.  And from my analysis, there are several very beautiful married women that would make excellent members of your harem."

 

Sonic stared at Harem App helplessly.

 

"The choice is yours," Harem App said, never losing its mechanical monotone.  "If you do not make a decision by the time your friends arrive, I will take action on my own.  The clock is ticking..."a