Doom sends a package to Professor X.

by Gorel
Storyline X-Men; Blue Flu
Characters X-Men
Previous Chapter Doom's influence makes the Beasts aggressive and submissive to his commands.

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Standing just outside the energy barrier that now separated the school from a horde of elephant size blue furred bear people, the remainder of the X-Men watched on as their afflicted friends rammed against the shield.


“Wow, things went from bad to bullshit in there…” Blinked Kitty Pride, holding her hedge clippers close to her as she stopped her landscaping duties to watch her friends try to escape.


“Ah know Sugah, things are just terrible.” Worried Rogue, holding herself while she watched on.


“This one’s following me.” Pipped in Gambit as he was staring eye to eye with She-Hulk, now a massive blue monster of a woman leering down at him like a prized steak. “It’s creepy, she’s following me.” Stepping to the left, the She-Beast did the same. “Should I be concerned?”


“Only if she gets out!”


Looking up when they all heard a buzzing sound, the X-men found a Doombot flying overhead and flying towards the front door of the Xavier mansion. Running up to the now hovering green and chrome machine, the team found it carrying a paper bound package in its metallic pincers.


When Kitty stepped up to the hovering machine, a flat screen monitor unfolded from the front to reveal a digital representation of Victor Von Doom’s metal mask. “THIS IS THE LATVARIAN DELIVERY SYSTEM HERE TO PRESENT A PACKAGE TO… Charles Xavier… YOU WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THIS DELIVERY!” A small pad and pen extended from the machine’s chassis right in front of the timid girl.




Scribbling her name on the pad, the items snapped back into their compartments and the package was dropped like a rock at her feet.


“THANK YOU FOR TIME, WHEN THE GLORIOUS VICTOR VON DOOM CONQUERS YOUR COUNTRY, YOU’RE DEATH SHALL BE QUICK AND PAINLESS… Please fill out the survey so that we may know your feedback with our delivery system.” Taking flight and buzzing past the trees and out of sight, Kitty picked up the relatively light package and called out to the professor, who immediately called for his X-Men to meet him in his office with the package in hand.




“Well my X-Men, today we finally won a battle against Dr. Doom and stuck my wing tip shoe into his craw.”


A short applause filled the office with several of the remaining X-Men smiling, despite the scene of the horde of blue beasts still trying to escape their prison outside Xavier’s office window. “So, what’s in the package professor?”


“Why Nightcrawler, THIS is the cure to Doom’s Blue Flu he infected our dear friends in the neighboring campus, with this we can finally fix this whole mess.” Gesturing a hand to Psylocke, Charles continued. “Betsy, would you do the honours?”


Opening the package, Psylocke pulled out a green card and read from it. “Congratulations Professor Charles Xavier, within this package is as I had promised, the sole item to solve your greatest problem.” Pulling out the item, everyone stared back at the brightly coloured fortune teller’s hat made of yellow and blue silk with a bright blue feather and a glittering ruby at its pommel. “I have taken the effort to register your name as a fortune teller’s hotline from your front desk so that you can best put your psychic talents to good use… In addition, I have set up psychic dampening emitters around my kingdom to prevent any further interruptions from you or your other telepathic students.”


Looking down at the brightly coloured hat in his hands, Xavier took a sharp breath through his nose. Suddenly Xavier’s phone rang, picking up the receiver Charles’s frown grew. “Yes, this is Charles Xavier… No, I am not a… Well of course your wife is cheating on you, why wouldn’t she?... Well FUCK YOU too!” Slamming the receiver down, Charles’s eye began to twitch.


“Does anyone smell burnt toast?”


“Yeah… Me too.”


“So do I… Huh.”


Gently placing the hat down on the desk and unplugging the phone when a new call came in, Xavier sat down at his desk chair and pulled out his rolodex.


“My X-Men, please leave my office, I’m about to do something we are ALL going to regret.”




Lifting the business card out of the rolodex and showing it to his staff, the entire group screamed and ran out the door, save for his secretary Boom Boom. “Tabitha my dear… Could you please call this number? I’m just going to get the bourbon ready for when he arrives.”


Picking up the card with a shaky hand, the teenager looked frightened at the red and black card with a chipotle stain on its corner. “D-do you really want to do this Professor?”


“No… But sometimes you need to fight fire with a blowtorch.” Opening the drawer to pull out a decanter of bourbon and a shot glass, Charles waved his secretary out.


“God, please have mercy for what I’m about to do…”

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