NOT A HOAX!
NOT A DREAM!
NOT AN IMAGINARY STORY!
Well, okay, it's an imaginary story.
But then, aren't they all?
Superman flew into the alley near his apartment building at superspeed, far too fast for any human or most metahumans to see. His supersenses confirmed that he was alone in the alley, so a moment later Clark Kent walked out of the alley, straightening his tie.
He wasn't currently in a hurry or he would have flown directly into his apartment, but it really was best for his secret identity if he was usually seen going in and out by the doorman. He nodded to said man as he walked by, hands in pockets as he hunched
over to make himself seem smaller. It was one of many tricks that made his disguise effective.
"Mr. Kent, good evening!" the doorman said. "I have a package that was delivered, if you'd care to sign for it." Clark arched an eyebrow. He wasn't expecting anything, but he signed for it anyway and took delivery of the roughly six inch wrapped cube.
The label was from Wayne Industries, which solved one mystery but opened another. Why was Bruce ("Batman") Wayne sending him a package here? Usually, Bruce would call him and they'd meet.
As he rode the elevator to his floor, he peeked into the package using his x-ray vision. The box itself was lined with lead, but there was a letter on the outside that he could read.
"Clark, Sorry I've been out of touch for a couple weeks, but I'm undercover." Which solved *that* mystery. "Inside the box is a little mystery I need some help with. You'll understand when you see it. --B"
Clark smiled to himself. The World's Greatest Detective needed his help with a mystery? That must be quite a case.
He set the box down on the table after he got into the apartment and locked the door, then took off the paper, set aside the enclosed letter, and briefly studied the box itself. Nothing seemingly odd about it, he flipped open the fastener and started to
open it up.
Every nerve ending he had started to scream in pain at him. He barely had an instant to glimpse the pink glow coming from the box before he involuntarily dropped the lid, letting it close again. With a shaking hand, he closed the fastener again. "What
the heck, Bruce? Red Kryptonite? You sent me Kryptonite without a warning?"
Only... Red Kryptonite didn't cause him pain; it only caused bizarre transformations on exposure. And it wasn't really a red glow, more... pink. He hadn't had a chance to look at the rock within, and he wasn't about to now, without precautions.
Seconds later, something that wasn't even a blur, but fast enough to be unseen, flew out the window of Clark's apartment. Superman had more than one mystery to solve.
Linda Lee Danvers walked into the room she shared with her roommate at Stanhope College. It had been a long but productive day, attending classes and occasionally sneaking out to fight crime as Supergirl. Still, she was looking forward to some time to
relax. She set her books on her desk before noticing the wrapped box on her bed, the size of a shoebox. She crossed the short space to her bed and had a seat there, opening up the attached envelope, then grinned. Her adoptive parents had sent her some homemade
cookies!
With anticipation, she pulled the box onto her lap and ripped off the paper, then flipped the lid off.
As every nerve in her body screamed in pain, she saw the rock inside, glowing pink. She struggled to move, to grab the lid, but her body barely obeyed her, her hand starting to reach out before she curled up in pain, falling off the bed. As she fell, the
rock fell out of the box and skittered under her roommate's bed as she curled into the fetal position. Even with her eyes closed, all she could see was the pink glow.
As Linda started to lose consciousness, the last thing she thought was "Cock."